Hi, I’m Jacob and I’m a grateful, recovering sex addict.
In my last post, I shared my experience of attending a 12-Step meeting for the first time. It was a scary and uncertain first step, but I am so glad I took it.
As I mentioned last time, I found an environment of acceptance and non-judgment. With all of the stigma surrounding sex addiction – both in the real world and that internal to me – I didn’t think I’d ever feel accepted anywhere. But the 12-Step environment is engineered to be that way.
You’ve probably seen or read the 12-Steps before, be they applied to alcoholics, overeaters, workaholics or something similar. For sex addicts, we just replace “alcohol” with “sex” in the verbiage. But it’s the same program that’s been around since the 1930s.
The meetings follow the same ritual. We read aloud prepared readings with names like “The Problem”,“The Twelve Signs of Sexual Addiction”, “The Twelve Steps”, “The Solution”, “The Twelve Promises” and “The Twelve Signs of Recovery”. These very clearly define the problem we all face, the journey we are on and the promises that recovery holds. And we read them at every meeting – just like clockwork.
I think the main reason for the predictability and repetition is that we all need to be reminded of what we’re dealing with. And we need to have these steps, signs and promises programmed into our brains to replace the dysfunctional crap that’s been in them for so long.
We also share what’s going on in our heads, in our emotions and in our lives. If someone is struggling to maintain their sobriety, the group is there to listen and encourage. Never to judge.
We celebrate milestones in recovery. We applaud those who have reached one day of sobriety. Or a week. Or a month. Or two or three. Or a full year – or more. Any reason to celebrate progress in the journey to recovery.
I find myself looking forward to going to meetings … to be in a roomful of ADDICTS, no less! How crazy is that. I’m not sure, but it’s a better kind of crazy than where I’ve been.
I leave every meeting a little stronger, a little more committed and a little more whole than I was when I arrived. I draw strength from the other guys, whether they’ve had a good week or an awful one. We are reminded that we are not alone.
That’s my story for now. If you, like me, are struggling with addiction, I hope that you’ll seek help. It’s a hard thing to do. But don’t let the addict keep the real you from reaching out.
There’s help and hope – just reach for it.
Jacob The Addict (jacobtheaddict@gmail.com)
Jacob The Addict 