I Am Every Man

Hi, I’m Jacob, a grateful, recovering sex addict. My sobriety date is unchanged since my last post.

In my first post, I told you a little bit about myself to orient you to what sex addiction looks like. Next I wrote about some of the places I’ve been in my life and how screwed-up they look in the rear-view mirror.

Today, I want you to see that I am Every Man.

I’m not saying that every man is a sex addict or destined to become one, but I’ll assert that there are more men (and women) out there who ARE sex addicts than there are who REALIZE they are.

Yes, I’m saying that there are sex addicts who don’t know they are sex addicts. I was one for decades before someone helped me see that I was.

So, here’s what Jacob is:

• A grateful, recovering sex addict.
• A life-long Christian (there you go judging me again).
• A highly successful businessman.
• A former church leader.
• A happily married man (though not so happy as I thought I was – my fault, not Amy’s).
• A dedicated Dad.
• A supportive son.
• A fairly decent brother.

I am:

• The nicely dressed man in the grocery store.
• The dad playing catch with his son in the front yard.
• The husband with his wife at dinner in a local restaurant.
• The dad at the symphony with his daughter.
• The guy at the local restaurant eating breakfast with his guy friends.
• The man seated next to you on the airplane.
• The guy in line at Starbucks.
• The man on the other end of the church pew from you on Sunday morning.
• The businessman eating dinner alone in the hotel restaurant.
• And the guy who is secretly addicted to pornography and lives in a world of private sexual fantasies …
• The guy who now attends 12-step meetings with his sex addict friends, guys who look awfully familiar.

What I am not:

• A pedophile
• A flasher
• A “Peeping Tom”
• A sexual predator
• A “john”

I say none of the previous to imply that I’m inherently better than those who might be those things. I am certainly not. I am first and foremost a sinner saved only by the grace of God. And I am a sex addict.

Friends, I wish I had known what I was dealing with years ago. Had I known, I could have sought help, begun recovery and spared a LOT of people a LOT of pain.

I write this in hopes that you’ll take a long hard look at your life and ask yourself if there are things you don’t want ANYBODY to know about you. That alone doesn’t make you an addict. But secret compartments in your life should be a red flag.

I hope you’ll keep coming back here – especially if any of what I’ve said hits close to home. If you are dealing with addiction, there is help and hope. I’m living proof of that.

I’m five months into my recovery – recovery from something I didn’t even realize five months ago.

Jacob The Addict (jacobtheaddict@gmail.com)